Here are just some of the lines I've heard and seen (in emails and the like) so far, and my replies to them, seeing as I obviously have (and want) nothing to blog about.

"Hey buddy, wanna buy some insurance lest you get run down?" - Lawrence
Reply: " By the cars on the road, or you when I reject?"

"Wow, that meal was filling. I'm stuffed! Would you like cake for dessert?" - Mrs Koshi
Reply: "Why not? I love throwing-up and digestive back-flow."

"I will rise up to the challenges of biology. I will spawn mutant piranhas in the S-bend!" -J.J.
Silent Reply: "Need I even say anything?"

"I'm calling from OrangeTee to inform you that we can help you rent your house out." -Agent?
Reply: "Thanks for the offer of a lifetime, but begging on the street just doesn't speak to me."

"Wow. School's almost starting and I'm not even remotely prepared." - Hachiro
Reply: "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

"I wonder why you have to use the safety belt. The maximum speed is only 12km/h."- Sharon
Reply: "Buckle up anyway. It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of the car."

"If you ever drive, what personalized bumper sticker would you use?"- J.J.
Reply: "If you can read this, I can stop suddenly and sue you."

"What do you have to say for yourself, seeing as it's a proven fact the women can't drive?"- J.J.
Reply: "If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk."

"Why torture the Christians with your prescence?"-My father
Reply: "Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of."

"You really did not have to walk into a Church and insult the Cross. Loudly." -WenYing
Reply: "Belief is blind. And only the blind believe."