Warning: Due to this immensely dense shroud of boredom, I have connived with the Inner Demons to present this extremely randomized post. Ladies and Gentlemen alike are warned to avert their eyes to prevent this terrible disease from spreading, and cultivating within your minds. With all that said and done, enjoy.


1. Firstly, I'd just thought I'd inform all of 'You' that I've been promoted. To the lofty position of 'Chairman of the Bored'. 'COB' for short, which is appropriate, since I'm practically covered in cobswebs due to lack of movement. Ah, bliss of the sedentary. In fact, I've actually willed myself to watch some idiot classmate of my host play a platformer on the Playstation 2 video game console for approximately 20 minutes. Without a coffee-break. (This is where you gasp in disbelief) It features an ugly caveboy running around in a loincloth who has a striking face. But the question is, who's been striking it? (Although the weapon used was most certainly a golfclub.)

Anyway, the objective of the game is to run, jump and bash some non-descript bad-guys. When you're done with that, you can run, jump and beat up some more non-descript bad-guys. But the special part is, you'll adventure through every level searching for trinkets to complete objectives, one of which is to find and bring a talisman to a shrine to call upon the Powers of the Divine. And, if you're lucky, and they're in a good mood and the fengshui is peaked as well, they'll let you collect stuff for them. Namely, pets. Pets veering on the side of monstrosity, such as a pirahna, a sheep, and a ride-able rhinoceroes and an emu.
Do you see the recurring pattern? Run, jump, whack and collect.

2. Have you ever stopped a particular fashionista just to say :
"Have you noticed the strange trends of fashion? I mean to say, we started out as cavemen wearing close to nothing, then inflated to a point during the Victorian Era, when people robed themselves in so many layers that they were in constant danger of suffering a heatstroke? Now, it is not so uncommon to see people in certain regions of the globe 'skinny dipping'."

3. Thursday- A very memorable event shall plague this day, as Nostril-damus celebrates his 503 birthday from his grave. The man who had purportedly foreseen the rising of an insignificant monk to the position of Pope, the reign of Hitler's terror, the atomic bomb. Perhaps even the death of John F. Kennedy Jr, and the most recently applicable, the destruction of the Twin Towers of New York. All of which were written in poetic, but cryptic quatrains. In total, Nostradamus wrote 942 quatrains, which he organized into centuries.
Yeah right. The future is non-existent until we write it at the exact moment.

4. Finally, here's an infamous question I was subjected to recently:

Q. HAVE YOU EVER THROWN TEA AT ANYBODY?
A. Only at cold to lukewarm temperatures, to avoid lawsuits. I also yell, "TEA INCOMING" prior to all (and any) tea-throwings, as a result of the 'Incident of 1357'.
*60 moments of silence*

'Your Not-So-Friendly Neighbourhood Lawyer' says:
'Don't throw tea at people. Especially in America.'